Go Outside And Play!!!!
Those are four words that parents have probably told their children countless times. Normally, for most children and parents, it would be inconceivable to expect children to play, or be indoors all the time.
Well, what is good (advice) for children, is actually good advice for ourselves too. Ultimately, life is no noun or sancrosanct thing to be held on a pedestal, aloof from everything else.
Be Active, Actively Engage With The World.
Life, at its core is meant to be about togetherness, connection and doing.
That is, real dopamine, as opposed to fake dopamine. If anything, life, is a verb, a process a journey. Now granted, some alone time is a must (very necessary). However, the flip side of the coin is, so is time spent in public as part of something bigger than ourselves (community).
Two things can be (and are) true at the same time. We need quality time to ourselves, to get certain things done. To self evaluate, have quality time to ourselves and just be. However, we also need time to connect, socialise, share, nurture and be part of a group or tribe.
Put a different way, we have needs and obligations to both ourselves and communities (including humanity itself). Which all means that we all need some degree of balance, in our lives. Our needs are that big and complex.
Find The Right Balance Between Outside Play And Quality Alone Time.
With all that being said, one of the best things we can do for ourselves is figure out what feels like a good amount of time to be about us and others. What are the different ways and times that we can meet our individual and bigger needs? Furthermore, what are the ways that we can achieve win/wins and collaborate with others, who have these same needs too?
One of the best aspects of life, is seeing past our own needs to the needs that we all share, and using this insight, to achieve meaningful connections. Life, despite how it may seem is still very much like the playground, park, University Campus or any other social gathering. Beneath it all, we all tend to want the same thing, to connect, to meet our needs as human beings.
Outside Play, Brings A Lot Your Way.
If given the chance, our humanity, will connect us all. As long as we are open to that happening. However, if we value self above our humanity, meaningful connection then becomes impossible. Corruption and greed aside, we all just want to have our humanity be affirmed whilst we also affirm the same in the next person. Nobody wants to live in a world where we feel estranged from the next person. We all want to live in a world where we can connect with the person next to us and just be.
Life, really is that simple. Being able to have your humanity affirmed and do the same for others simultaneously, is what living is. Being unable to do this for an extended period of time is a red flag, to say the least.
As always, for those of us that want to live in a world where connecting is possible. Some action and leadership, is going to be necessary. Unfortunately, there is a very anti social side to social media and cell phones in general.
Which basically means that we have to embody the change that we want to see. We have to be an example of how socialising and connecting is done. Which kind of raises the question, how is it done? Well, with treating people how you like to be treated, with patience, empathy and a spirit of service.
Ultimately, it is all about making the other person feel good, appreciated, seen. A great starting point is compliments. Living our truths by complimenting people whenever we see good in them is a very great way to start.
Firstly, because it is authentic, heartfelt and verifiable by the person receiving the compliment in real time. Secondly, it is a low pressure way of connecting for all involved. It can open the door to deeper conversation, if it organically happens. However, it also can just stay as some (positive) small talk if the other party responds in a way that indicates this. That is, they simply say thank you, or smile and basically do or say nothing to move the conversation further.
In conclusion, our lives are about us and humanity/community, at the same time. Both of these things are true. (As the pandemic taught us).
Get ahead of the game, know this and pre-game for this. You’ll feel better when you start taking care of both sides of your needs.